66: 11 Tips for Improving Your Body Image

I hear from a lot of you that you struggle with your body image.

You say mean things to yourself when you look in the mirror.

You feel terrible about your body when you scroll social media.

When you enter a room, you immediately scan to see who is the smallest and if you're biggest.

A lot of people think this will all be solved if they just lose some weight, but in my own personal experience and in working with clients, it never really works out that way! 

Author of Women, Food, and God Geneen Roth says,

"Who you are on the journey is who you will be when you arrive."

So if you feel terrible about your body and say awful, awful things to yourself while you are trying to eat healthier and move more, you're still going to be that mean, mean person when you lose the weight. 

If you're super obsessive about and mean towards your body as you work to change it, you're still going to be super obsessive and mean later on.

I can totally relate. When I decided I was serious about losing weight when I was turning 30, I took tons of progress photos and posed in the mirror with different angles to look the best.

When I saw other women, my eyes immediately went to their thighs to see how long and slim they were to compare to mine which never seemed to get smaller.

When I got in the shower, I would look down at my legs and just cry. It was really awkward for Paul. Like I couldn't look be in my body without crying. YIKES!

It didn't matter what I did with food or exercise. It was never enough.

But this game got old.

I got sick of hearing myself obsess over my body.

I got sick of staying home and missing out on life because of food/my body.

I got sick of reading crap and seeing images online about bodies!

And it's usually only once you're sick and tired of something that you decide to make a change!

Being obsessed and feeling terrible was the pain I wanted to move away from!

And the pleasure I wanted to move towards was just feeling normal. I wanted my body and others' bodies to not be an issue.

I just wanted to exist and breathe and move on with life!

I want to help you improve your body image. Let's start by defining body image!

The National Eating Disorder Collaboration defines 4 aspects of body image:

1. Perceptual body image- how you see your body, but it's not always a correct representation.

2. Affective body image- how you feel about your body- you might feel happy or disgusted.

3. Cognitive body image- how you think about your body- your thoughts might be consumed by your weight or appearance.

4. Behavioral body image- how you act- maybe you isolate yourself or do actions to change your body.

Your body image is a combination of how you see your body, how you feel about your body, how you think about your body, and what actions you take with your body.

Today I am going to teach you 11 tips for improving your body image.

When you follow these tips, you're going to feel less obsessed, less mean to yourself and you're going to feel more relaxed, happier, and normalish.

1. Spend less time in front of the mirror. 

The mirror can be a big trigger for negative thoughts, so spend less time in that environment. Get dressed and do a quick check, but be on your way. Standing in front of the mirror for long periods of time doesn't help you change for the positive!

2. When you do go in front of the mirror, say kind things. And if that feels hard, at least stop saying mean things.

I used to say, "OMG, Jaclyn, you're so ugly." And when I realized that's what I was saying, I nipped it. I read the book Mirror Work and started saying kinder things like, "Hey kiddo. Looking good. Really proud of you."

3. Stop taking progress photos.

I used to do this and regrettably had my clients do it too. It just makes you focus in on tiny details on your body. You would never have an 8 year old girl do this, so no, don't do this either.

4. Find body parts you like or at least feel neutral about. Focus on ability rather than appearance!

I still don't love my thighs, but I do love how strong my legs are! I've complete several marathons with these legs! And especially knowing that movement can be taken away from me like it was when my knee and hip hurt, I am especially grateful for my legs to help me walk and run! 

I no longer feel disgusted with my thighs but rather feel neutral about them.

5. Follow accounts on social media of kickass women who have similar bodies to you.

Awhile back, I started following some women who really into lifting who had large thighs, and I was like, "Oh, it's okay that I don't have pencil thin legs. Their thighs look like mine, and it's ok, so I guess I am okay too."

6. And then spend way less time on social media altogether. Delete the apps!!

It was so great to see these women. They gave me permission to exist, but then I didn't need these images anymore. I don't need to see other peoples' lives every minute of my day because now I am not getting things done. 

Use the social media as a tool for body acceptance, and then get rid of it so you can go do ACTIONS that actually help your physical and mental health like going for a walk outside with your movement buddy or lifting weights! 

I am going to return to this more tomorrow about how the invention of media has made us feel like crap!

7. When you meet up with someone in person, get engrossed in the conversation with them rather than in their body!

When I was obsessed with my body, all I could think about was how I matched up to other people in the room. I realized I was so obsessed with other peoples' bodies, I probably did not treat them as a human who had things going on. I just saw their bodies. Yuck. People aren't just bodies. They have lives and emotions and relationships and highs and lows. You aren't just your body. They aren't either. See that!

8. When you meet up with someone in person who has a really muscular + awesome body, appreciate the hard work they've put into it and then move on.

Ok, so my business coach Jill Coleman has a rockin' body. She's been lifting weights for forrrrrever and has worked really hard to get to where she is. 

She's also read a ton of books, written tons of blogs, coached thousands of women, spoken at lots of events, and done a ton of other shit. Jill is inspiring, and I can appreciate the hard work she does. But me sitting here thinking about what she's done and how she looks doesn't help me unless I go and do things.

I guess what I am trying to say is years ago, my thoughts would be like, "OMG. She looks amazing. I will never be able to be like her. I'm crap. I'm the worst. Maybe I need to do..."

And now, my thoughts sound like, "Wow! She looks great! She lifts weights a lot! Cool, I am going to keep doing what I am doing now."

One had me obsessed and stuck and the other is me being acknowledging and moving on. Does that make sense? Lemme know.

9. When you're moving your body, take note of the things you're saying to yourself and shift them.

If you're saying things like, "You're the oldest. You're the weakest. You're the fattest. You're the slowest. You're the worst. Why are you here?" Well, you're being a jerk to yourself, and you actually DO have control over how you speak to yourself.

"Hey, proud of you for being here. Give it a go. Try your best. Great work."

10. Remind yourself that this is your ONE LIFE on this planet and this is your ONE BODY. Treat your time and body with respect.

You are deserving of respect in the body you're in right now. However big your thighs are. However big your belly is. It doesn't matter. You are a human, and all humans are inherently valuable. Treat yourself with respect with your words and your actions. This is your 1 life.

11. Think about real people you respect, love, and think have awesome lives. Is it their bodies you love or their personalities?

One of the reasons I decided to work with Jill as my business coach is because she's freaking smart and so approachable. Her body is cool, but her body isn't why I worked with her.

I love reading Jen Sincero's books, and I didn't even know what she looked like for a long time! I love her books because she is funny and practical and made something big from nothing.

Why are you reading my blog? Is it my body? My body is kinda unremarkable. I don't think you're reading this because of my "rocking" body! Are you reading this because this stuff is helpful? Approachable? Practical?

I recently started working another business coach, and I started his program because his stuff is practical and approachable! He's a really awesome guy. A stay-at-home dad who started an internet business and helps others.

I joined my gym because the classes are fun to be at. I feel safe and like I can grow and get stronger there. The owner is an awesome guy. I love hearing about his family. 

Your body is a part of you, but you are not JUST your body. You're a person with a personality, humor, quirks, and imperfections.

Other people see that in you. AND LOVE YOU.

See that in yourself too.

11 Tips for Improving Your Body Image:

1. Spend less time in front of the mirror. 

2. When you do go in front of the mirror, say kind things. And if that feels hard, at least stop saying mean things.

3. Stop taking progress photos.

4. Find body parts you like or at least feel neutral about. Focus on ability rather than appearance!

5. Follow accounts on social media of kickass women who have similar bodies to you.

6. And then spend way less time on social media altogether. Delete the apps!!

7. When you meet up with someone in person, get engrossed in the conversation with them rather than in their body!

8. When you meet up with someone in person who has a really muscular + awesome body, appreciate the hard work they've put into it and then move on.

9. When you're moving your body, take note of the things you're saying to yourself and shift them.

10. Remind yourself that this is your ONE LIFE on this planet and this is your ONE BODY. Treat your time and body with respect.

11. Remind yourself that you love others for who they are and not their bodies. Others love you for who you are and not your body. See that for yourself too.

I'll be back tomorrow to talk a bit more about media and how it's effed up body image plus some movies (ha! more media!) that can help your understanding and relationship with body image.

Was this blog helpful? You can support the blog by buying me a cup of coffee.

xo,

Jaclyn