74: How to find balance between the two extremes

Systems for Self-Care

74: How to find balance between the two extremes

12:57

 

Ok, so you want to find balance between the two extremes, but you're not really sure how to...

Chances are you arrived to today's blog because you've been really extreme with food in two ways.

Extreme 1: You've been really neglectful with food. You've overeaten processed + fun foods like cookies, popcorn, pizza, chocolate cake, tacos, cookie dough, etc. and you weren't eating very many plants. You felt kinda gross from how you were eating. Maybe your body hurt, you were low energy all the time, and you were saying mean things to yourself in your head. (That was me a few years ago too!)

Extreme 2: You didn't feel so great, so you decided to do some sort of strict diet to get food under control. Maybe you did 21 Day Fix or Whole30 or a Whole100 or or Keto or low carb or maybe you only ate 1200 calories. You kinda felt like you were finally getting your health under control, but you also knew it wasn't really sustainable... and after a couple weeks, months, or maybe even years, things started to unravel and you found yourself being neglectful again. (That was me after every I diet I did too!)

After working with clients for the last 5 years, I started to see this pattern happen over and over, and I created a name for it: It's called The Diet Triangle.

There are actually 3 points on The Diet Triangle.

Point A: You're being strict with food, and you also know i's not sustainable!!

Point B: You ease up on yourself and give yourself permission to eat fun foods when you realize you were being too strict.

Point C: Everything unravel and giving yourself permission has now turned into you being really neglectful with food.

(After Point C, people head back up to Point A, either with a diet they've done in the past or a new even more strict diet to punish themselves into submission. The Diet Triangle!!)

People will repeat this triangle for years. For decades! I repeated it for a long time too.

I knew I needed to make a shift because if you keep doing the same things, you're going to keep getting the same results!

So let's go back to the original question:

How do you find balance between the two extremes?

Ok, let's start by defining what balance means!

1. When you're a balanced eater and you have balance between the two extremes, how do you feel at the end of a meal?

I knew I wanted to stop feeling gross at the end of a meal and I wanted to feel good.

I wanted to stop feeling angry with myself at the end of a meal, and I wanted to feel pleased with myself. 

Pretend you already do have balance between the two extremes. How does your body feel at the end of a meal? What do your thoughts about yourself sound like in your head?

2. Take your answer from above. I am going to pretend you also said you want to physically feel good/not gross and you want to emotionally feel fine/not angry!

If that's how you want to feel, what ACTIONS do you need to take? What actions with food? Like what's on your plate???

Is a plate of lettuce going to help you feel that way? Prolly not. It's not balanced. There's nothing there!

Is a plate of pizza, cake, and cookies going to help you feel that way? Prolly not. It's not balanced either. Way on the other way of being extreme. You'll feel gross and angry.

What's the action with food that will help you be balanced and feel good/not gross?

What if each plate you made was balanced??

3. Here's the thing. In order for things to change, in order for you to find balance between the two extremes, you have to DELIBERATELY TAKE ACTION. You have to DELIBERATELY PRACTICE BALANCE. If nothing changes, nothing changes!

In order to become a balanced eater, you have to practice being balanced with meals.

In the top right quadrant, control is high- in that you have to push yourself to take action, but also warmth is high too- you're doing it because you care about yourself...

I think that's the part people mess up on the most. They try things once, make a mistake, and think it's not for them. But when you're learning to do something new, you're going to make mistakes. I did! That's why having a coach to guide you is helpful!

You have to keep practicing. Rep after rep. For how long? Until it becomes second nature. You practice the habit until it becomes who you are, and then you just keep doing it!

The best part if you never have to search for a new diet. While friends are cutting out carbs or sugar, you get JOMO. Joy of missing out because you know how to eat. You have balance with food!!

How to find balance between the two extremes?

TL;DR: Find balance by deliberately practicing balance at every meal. 

xo,

Jaclyn

p.s. My client Chrissy found balance with food, and you can too.

The next step is to get Moderation Made Easy.

It's my free mini course helping you find balance with food.

Get it by clicking here: Moderation Made Easy.