Running on a treadmill
I love running. I love it so much which still feels weird for me to say.
It was my 20th high school reunion over the summer. I didn't go. I didn't have a reason to go. And I think it would just put me back into feeling like how I felt in high school. Low self-esteem. Shy. Nervous. Like I didn't amount to anything.
Running makes me feel the opposite of all that. Running makes me feel confident. Like I'm good at something. Like I can finally stick with something and accomplish something.
Which is why not being able to run hurts me so much. I can't run much outside on pavement. My foot is on fire when I do, and I don't really know what to do to fix things anymore.
Two weeks ago, I went back to a treadmill class and had the time of my life. The treadmills are Woodway treadmills, and it feels like you're running on a cloud. Well, for most of it. My foot started to hurt a bit but a little massaging and stretching and it was fine.
I love running fast.
I love feeling exhausted at the end of the class.
I love being drenched in sweat.
I miss running outside. I miss running long distances. I miss doing something hard.
I don't know if I will ever be able to run long distances outside again, but for now, I have my treadmill. I get to feel like I accomplished something hard again.
Author
Jaclyn Ricchio
Hey! It's Jaclyn. I'm here to help you stop feeling like a failure by getting consistent with mornings, meals, movement... anything. I hope you stick around and read a bit, will ya?
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